this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
