Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
