If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
