The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
