More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Barsexuality is the new black.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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