We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
