butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
