Your face is a jimmy john
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
