I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She's the barista slut.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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