christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
