I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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