Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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