Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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