I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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