I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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