They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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