And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
