remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
