he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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