your thong is hanging out like whoa
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize