Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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