ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
True strength comes from lack of pants
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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