Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
