Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
