I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
