Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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