I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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