I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
