: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
