Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
