On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just googled if crying burns calories
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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