her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize