Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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