only you would photoshop your dick
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
