Swine flu. Run for my life!
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
