Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
