we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
