508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Randomize
