It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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