well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
