im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it was like eating out sand paper
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
