he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I need to align my fucking chakras
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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