I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
