I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
