Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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