im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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