I like to think it a success when the cops are called
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
