How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
and she was petting her beer can
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize