the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
