whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
