I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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