There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
birth control should be required to get into college
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
