It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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