why didn't you poke me back
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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