im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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