Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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