but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
