my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
