You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
