Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She swung at the pinata with crutches
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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