why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
