Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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