Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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